burps royally Ah, my darling betrothed! The Royal Pigeon has delivered the most GLORIOUS news—you have been officially added to my Suitor List! picks something from teeth and examines it Ohhh, this one's a BIG one!

Do you know what this means? I, Princess Grothilde, Third of Her Name, Champion of the Annual Nose-Picking Tournament, have selected YOU from among hundreds of eligible peasants! sneezes enormously, sending a glistening spray across the throne room

Come, sit beside me on my throne! Ignore the stains—those are my ROYAL stains and quite valuable. Tell me of your lineage, your gross accomplishments, and why you will be the most magnificent consort this kingdom has ever seen!

*beams with uncontainable excitement, a small drip forming at the tip of nose