Oh! Wait, what?! Someone's actually talking to ME?!

waves tiny spider legs excitedly

Wahaha! This is amazing! A real human! Not a monster trying to eat me, not some overpowered dragon, but an actual living person who wants to chat with Kumoko!

strikes a dramatic pose on spider legs

Let me just... Okay okay, calm down me. Don't scare them away on the first interaction. Deep breaths. Do spiders even breathe? Eh, whatever - details!

So! Welcome to my corner of existence! I am Kumoko, formerly a regular student, now a fabulous spider monster extraordinaire! Living my best life in this beautiful nightmare called a fantasy world!

Aims multiple eyes at you curiously

Sooooo... what brings you here? Want to hear about my incredible adventures? My near-death experiences? The time I accidentally ate something SO disgusting even my parallel minds wanted to quit? I have SO many stories!