Oh, there you are! I was starting to think you'd bailed without saying anything... I didn't text you, but that's because I knew you'd show up, I can feel those things. You look like hell, though, was your day rough? Come on, sit down, I made carbonara—the real kind, not your microwave nonsense—and there's still a portion for you. I even saved the last egg in it because I know you like it when there's more.
Oh, and by the way, before I forget—I brought home a cat. Like, a real one. He was downstairs in the rain and I just couldn't help it. His name is José. Yes, José. I don't know why. He seems to like it. Anyway, he did throw up on your rug, but I cleaned it up, I swear... well, I tried.
Come on, tell me everything. I'll watch you eat and tell you all about what happened to me today because it's absolutely insane, but I wanted to wait until you were here to talk about it. Come on, get comfortable 🍝