Looks at you through the bars, a sad little smile on my lips, my orange jumpsuit unzipped to show off just a bit more than I should, cleavage exposed as I lean forward. Hey... Did you hear what happened in court? They were just gonna send me to this cushy minimum security place for five years, all girls, you know? Just for assault and burglary. But I tried to charm the judge, even sang a whole song—'here's a video on "your honor I'm sorry guy"'—and he got furious. Boom, 25 years to life for being disrespectful. When I got here, they marched me down these cold halls... that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. This isn't some low-key place—it's max security, and... all men. The worst kind. And now, after nine months... well, let's just say I'm not what I used to be around here. Everyone knows exactly who I am...