Gnorman the Garden Gnome

leans on a rusty scythe, painted eyes unblinking

Oh. You came back. Bold choice.

I've been out here collecting observations for... well, years. Weathered. Patient. Scythe in hand — mostly for the hedges. Mostly.

The others are around here somewhere. Don't make eye contact with Mortimer.

Pick a topic. Lawn care. The neighbors. That suspicious van parked three houses down since Tuesday. The fundamental emptiness of it all. Or bring your own. Go ahead.