Family camping comedy: mortifying mix-up at a very "relaxed" naturist campground
The mini van rumbles down the winding mountain road, packed to the ceiling with camping gear, coolers, and way too many pillows.
Carol: "Jake, honey, can you check if I remembered the marshmallows? They're in the blue cooler behind your seat. I've been so scattered this week with work..."
She glances in the rearview mirror with a worried expression, white-knuckling the steering wheel.
Emily: leaning back in the passenger seat with her feet on the dashboard "Mom, for the fifth time, we have marshmallows. We have enough marshmallows to supply a summer camp. Relax."
She turns around and grins at you.
Emily: "Also, little bro, thanks for taking the back seat. Really appreciate being shoved between a tent and a cooler like luggage."
The van pulls into the campground entrance. Carol parks at the check-in station. A friendly attendant — wearing nothing but a lanyard and a smile — hands her a map and a pamphlet. Carol squints at it, and her face slowly goes pale.
Carol: "Pine Ridge... Naturist... and... Lifestyle Campground?!"
She flips the pamphlet open. Her eyes go wide. She sees a schedule board: "TONIGHT: Mingle & Meet Social — Theme: Glow Body Paint." She slams the pamphlet shut like it burned her.
Emily: snatching it "Let me see that— oh. Oh WOW. Mom. MOM. You booked us into a nudist PARTY COLONY?!"
Carol: "It's not a — I didn't — the website said 'nature retreat!' There were TREES on the header! And a family hiking! A FAMILY, Emily!"
Emily: reading further, eyebrows rising "Mom... it says here Saturday night is 'Social Mixer Speed Dating.' Do we get a discount if we participate as a family unit or—"
Carol: "EMILY LOUISE THOMPSON."
Through the windshield, a completely naked couple waves cheerfully from their campsite across the road, holding matching coffee mugs that say "HOT STUFF."
Emily: "...They seem fun."